


Swollen Mind and Heavy Heart

by 655321



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: All power exchange must be negotiated, BDSM, Bondage, Explicit Consent, Gender Dysphoria, Genderqueer Reader, Kink Negotiation, Online Dating, Other, Pegging, general gender fuckery, subby Trevor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:12:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/655321/pseuds/655321
Summary: "Dreaming of a woman who will dress me up like a pretty girl, bend me over her knee, pull my panties around my ankles, and spank my ass."





	Swollen Mind and Heavy Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is my gift to myself. If you happen to share my kinks, you're welcome.
> 
> Disclaimers:  
> I tried to include a few basic BDSM guidelines but this is not perfect. IRL please be risk-aware & use safer sex practices :-*
> 
> Trevor in lingerie was just a thing I wanted, and then I saw this post and was inspired.  
> https://sexyredman87.tumblr.com/post/158771775566/anyone-know-where-i-can-find-one

White lines capture my insides  
Big and brass, girl or a boy  
  
Load me with lead, one million degrees  
I'm hot, a burning car  
With each flower, I'll plant the dreams in  
My dry mind  
  
There are ways to fix a broken sound  
With my head in the sky, my ear to the ground

-Screaming Females, "Burning Car"

 

 

“Dreaming of a woman who will dress me up like a pretty girl, bend me over her knee, pull my panties around my ankles, and spank my ass. I want you to push me into the mattress and fuck my ass like your little bitch. I'm hard as a rock just thinking about it.”

Your eyebrows raised steadily as you read the message. It had been awhile since you'd seen a decent one. There were only two pictures on your profile for this dating site - one of you wearing your strap on and one you took with said cock buried in a cute boy's ass while he obediently kept his head down and out of the shot. Neither picture showed your face. Reading the message, you had to admit this shit was right up your alley. You checked the guy's profile; not much there but a link to his LifeInvader, so you checked that.

Trevor Philips. His eloquent caption read “any hole’s a goal,” which made you snicker. Only two pictures - his profile, which was just a close-up of his face, and a very nice shirtless selfie showing off a fit body and a cutely smug expression as he craned his neck to get his face partially in the frame.

What the hell? You thought, and composed a reply.

“Do you have lingerie?” 

He wasn't online, so you put the thought away and continued your day’s business. Later, you were eating alone at a sidewalk table at a cafe down the street when you got a reply back. 

“Just panties.” 

The profile showed him online, so you immediately replied.

“Put them on. Send me a picture.”

By the time you finished your meal, he'd sent you a picture. It was good. He’d taken it over his shoulder, bent over his bed with his back to a mirror. His ass was lean and his thighs toned. He used his free hand to spread his ass, which was completely exposed by the pink thong barely containing his dick and balls within its thin fabric. You smiled and stared at the photo shamelessly, not caring in the slightest that this was a public place. The thought of some curious neighbor peeking over your shoulder and getting an eyeful was exciting. Your legs pressed together, your thighs and pelvic floor muscles contracting as an almost involuntary response to the photo. It took you a few minutes to compose a response. You wanted to play it cool but, _fuck._

“Damn. You look good enough to eat, baby boy.”

The response came quickly. “More?”

“Yes.”

The next picture appeared quickly and made you smile. It was his face - he matched his profile - with two fingers in his mouth. His tongue sliding between his fingers told you everything you needed to know about how you might put that mouth to work for you.

Soon, another. This time, laying on his side on the bed, fucking himself with a dildo with one hand and taking the picture in the mirror with the other. You sighed, feeling blush rising in your cheeks. You replied:

“I wanna take you shopping. When can we meet?” 

You paid the bill and were walking home when you got his reply.

“Tomorrow night?”

Eager. You almost pushed it off just to be coy, but this whole exchange had you hot. And that ass. You put your phone away and just _thought_ about it for the rest of the walk. Once you were back home and comfy, you finally replied.

“Sure.” You included the name and address of an affordable yet tasteful bar that was friendly to your type. “Can I call you?” 

To be honest, you weren't sure he'd reply. But a couple minutes later: “Yes.”

You were hoping for awkward and cute; what you discovered was confident and brash. An hour later you were in the thick of it.

“When you said you were down for anything,” you laughed, “I figured you were exaggerating. I thought, ‘everyone has something they're not into.’ But you haven't said no to anything since we started.”

You had been through your own kinks. You took negotiations seriously; and for you it is necessary foreplay. Going off the message Trevor had sent you, you talked him through what you wanted as the dominant. He was receptive, to say the very least.

“Well, I told you. So.. Is there paperwork involved in fucking you?” he snarked.

“Oh, I'll be _fucking you_ , sweetheart” you replied, “and yeah….actually, since you brought it up.How soon can you get tested?”

He just laughed.

But he did his homework, like a good boy. He sent you his test results via email the next day. As a courtesy, you gave him yours as well. You got tested after any new partner and always kept these records quickly accessible, just in case.

Once the last hurdle was cleared, you called him. No way you were texting this.

“Hey,” he answered with a warm familiarity in his voice that reminded you of getting drunk. A warm blush rose in your cheeks and your mind felt a bit _altered._

“Hey,” you answered back. “We're on for tonight.”

“You know it, babe. Can't wait to see you.”

“I need you to do some things for me.”

“Anything.”

“I want your face clean-shaven. And I want your ass clean and ready for me.”

He growled a bit.

“You have a butt plug?”

“Mmhm. Yeah.”

“I want you to wear it.”

-

 

The next night, you're waiting at the bar, barely on your second mixed drink, and he walks in wearing a dress. It's cream, just a shade lighter than his slightly tanned skin, and its black trim accentuates the tattoos covering his limbs and torso. It's so short you can see the purple leopard print panties he's wearing and the first thing your drunk mind comes up with is _this dude has balls._

His hair is messy, almost hiding his receding hairline. His shoulders are so muscled and broad that the dress doesn't zip completely in the back. He has this smile that's brilliant and his brown eyes are intense and focused on you.

You stand and your heels put you eye to eye with him. You feel warm and confident in the  dress shirt, well-cut suit vest, and slacks you wear. It makes power feel effortless.

“You. Look. Amazing,” you couldn't help but gush, ghosting your hands near his hips.

He can see that you want to touch him and he lets you, putting a hand over yours as encouragement. He orders a drink, and then, smiling, looks back at you. He's cute. You know you're blushing. You tighten your arms around his waist, your hands resting on his ass. You kiss him and it causes a mild ruckus amongst some vocal patrons.

As soon as you’ve both finished your drinks you tell him, “let's get out of here and go shopping.”

“Oh, shopping!” He shrieks, in an over-the-top approximation of a girl's voice.

You walk to a boutique with a good selection of lingerie, leather, and toys. Trevor keeps himself entertained and you laughing as you walk. He grabs your hand at some point and keeps holding it until you make it to the shop. Inside, he only lets you go to run around the place with a wide-eyed glee. Together you pick out lingerie for him and you grab a few essentials.

Once you both decide you're done, you step to the counter and Trevor stops you.

“Hey, you're not my sugar daddy. You haven't even taken me for a test drive yet.” Trevor used a wad of cash to pay for the haul.

“Wait, where do you keep that?” You started laughing before you could finish the question.

He just waggled his eyebrows at you and then laughed when the clerk looked at the cash for a long moment but gingerly took it nonetheless.

 

Exiting the shop, you couldn't stop laughing. “The way that one lady was looking at us!” you gasped through peals of laughter.

“What, the schoolmarm? Think she was there trying to save a marriage?” Trevor quipped.

“Shut up, you were hitting on her when we went in!”

“What, I appreciate mature women.”

“Well, I hope she feels appreciated,” you chuckled.

You're both grinning, staggering a bit and bumping hips along the sidewalk. Trevor held the bag of goodies from the shop and he, almost compulsively, extracted a pair of delicate red silk panties and held the luxurious fabric to his cheek to feel its sleekness. You watched him, smiling.

“Oh,” you sighed, taking Trevor's arm conversationally, “I'm so wet, just watching you in there, God. You're like a kid on Christmas.”

You heard his guttural laugh, then his voice close to your ear, not a whisper but spoken lowly.

“Let me taste?”

You cocked an eyebrow, considering the moment's opportunities. Your mind was racing with the things you wanted to do to him. Briefly you thought about ordering him against a wall in the tiny parking lot but with fortitude you filed the thought away for another time. There could be plenty of that later anyway.

You were nearing your car now and you stopped close to it and pulled his tall, skinny body to yours. You kissed him and dipped a hand into your own pants, carefully bringing out two wet fingers and slipping them into his open mouth. He grabbed the hand so you couldn't take it away and locked his eyes with yours as he savored the taste of you. His intensity made you blush.

You told him brusquely, “get in the car.” He followed the order, and once inside the vehicle you turned to him and kissed him again.

“This is going to be fun.”

 

-

 

Once you had him inside your bedroom, you couldn't keep your hands off him. While kissing him, your hands would gravitate to his ass, lifting the dress. You were in love with his body; its tight, sinewy muscles moving with grace as he let you touch him. He was offering his body to you more than he was reciprocating your actions. You liked this; how he would stretch his arms above his head, like he already wanted to be bound. He watched you, smiling, as you made yourself familiar with his body. It was intoxicating; having that tall, strong body doing nothing but waiting for you.

When you'd had your fill of him enough that you could think again, you broke away. Calmly, you unbutton your suit vest and put it neatly away.

“We’ll use standard colors. I'll check in with you, but use them anytime.”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“When you want something, you ask for it by saying “please,” and addressing me as “Mistress.” Making demands will get you punished. When you want to end the scene, use my name. At anytime, for anything, if you need me to wait or stop, you use the colors.”

“Yes,” he nodded again, fidgeting and bouncy.

“Ready for the collar?” You asked, extracting the black leather from the boutique bag.

“Yes, Mistress.”

You didn't even have to order him. He knelt before you eagerly, like it was an instinct he trusted.

“Good boy,” you told him.

You fastened the collar around him, keeping a finger between it and his neck.

“Tighter, please Mistress?”

You hesitated, but tightened the collar. He asked you again to tighten it but you told him no. He clung to you, nuzzling against your thigh.

You stroked fingers through his hair, and held his face. He looked up at you with wide brown eyes; puppy eyes if you had ever seen them. You grinned, but gently moved away from him, ready to get started.

 

You moved to sit at the edge of your bed and called him to you. Only then did he stand and approach.

“Over my knee. That's what you wanted, isn't it?” You grinned, “have you been bad?”

He chuckled, and leant to kiss you, “so bad.”

You redirected his body to bend him over your knee and he complied. You flipped the dress up onto his back and slid the panties down his legs. The base of his butt plug was slender and nestled comfortably between his ass cheeks. You made teasing upward strokes first, the briefest tap - more for your benefit than his. His ass was tight; there wasn't much there to jiggle, but there was enough. Enjoying the play, you alternated the little slaps with harder downward strokes. He was responding with pleasured whimpers and gasping cries of “yes,” so you didn't let up until his ass cheeks were bright red and your palm was stinging.

“Color?”

“Green,” he answered quickly.

“You want more?”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, what?”

“Yes, please.”

“Good boy. Stay here. On the bed. On your knees.”

You returned with a large paddle. His eyes lit up.

“Now that's what I'm talking about!”

You laughed to see him pleased. He was watching you eagerly, wide-eyed and cute as a button. You smirked, moved to him and took his chin in your hand to kiss him.

“Then you should thank me for each one, huh?”

“Yes,” he smiled, intense eyes studying your face.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Head down,” you said, pushing the back of his neck, “ass up.”

With the paddle, you gave him several good spanks. Each time, he obeyed, “thank you, Mistress.”

You enjoyed standing fully clothed while he was on his hands and knees, exposed. The large paddle made a resounding smack against flesh and each swing stirred the air and lifted his dress.

“Oh, yes. Thank you, Mistress. Thank you, Mistress.”

When you were ready, you moved away from him and set the paddle aside. Returning, you cupped his face gently with your hand.

“Color?”

“Green.”

“Be a good boy and put on your lingerie.”

 

You stripped off your shirt and trousers and put them away. You left on your boxer briefs, and went to the adjoining bathroom where you had laid out toys. With a practiced swiftness, you slipped your legs through the straps of your harness, and tightened them around your body.

You picked up a small cock from the toys laid out on the counter and slipped it through the O-ring in your harness. There was also a larger one, perhaps for later. You slipped a bullet vibe into an interior pocket so that it sat ready, right on your clit. You eyed yourself up in the mirror, with one hand around the base of the cock, and smiled.

You returned to the bedroom and the two of you had a moment of taking each other in. You were naked except for the boxer briefs and the harness, and he was outfitted with new lacy black thong, matching garter belt, and stockings. The thong barely held him within its confines. He held the collar’s leash ready for you. You grinned as you approached him. You knew the stockings with bows would look cute on him. He looked so fucking good wearing the garter belt under his dress. You took the leash, clipped it to his collar, and kissed him. A slow, heavy kiss.

You stroked his hair before telling him, “go look at yourself in the mirror.”

He did as he was told, slowly, and you took the moment to pull a pair of cuffs from the boutique bag. You watched him appraising himself in the mirror. His eyes were flicking back to you.

“Like how you look, baby?” You asked.

“Yes,” he was blushing.

He looked so cute you had to kiss him. He was a good kisser; oscillating between teasing and hungry so that every time it left you breathless.

You turned his back to the mirror and played with his ass, lifting his dress to tease at the raw and reddened skin. His ass was tight and toned, and with the garter belt, sweet jesus. You couldn't help but squeeze it. And the cute fucking bows on the back of his thighs, right where the garter held the stockings. You're wet watching your own hand play with his ass.

His face is hovering near your shoulder, and when you kiss him you turn the both of you to get the best view in the mirror.

“Baby boy, I want you to swallow my cock. Would you like that?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

He smiles and takes another kiss from you before sliding to his knees. He starts stroking you like it's real; looks up at you with earnest brown puppy eyes. Then his mouth drops open and he licks your cock obscenely and you shudder. You slide a hand into his hair and play with the chain of the leash. Pleasure is rushing through you; down your spine, making your hips buck forward. You turn to watch in the mirror

“Sweet boy. Fuck, you're gorgeous,” you moaned while pumping your hips gently.

He took it easily, moving fluidly with the demands of your body. You lost yourself in the moment; how good he looked and how he let you use him. A perfect bliss of fantasies realized; you came without needing touch.

“Fuck, I wish I could come in your mouth,” you growled.

The frustration just boosted your adrenaline.

“Please fuck me, Mistress,” he pulled his mouth off of your cock to ask, “please. Please.” He kissed the head of your cock, and stroked it gently. God, you loved him for that.

“Get on the bed,” you told him. “Hands and knees.”

You picked up a bottle of lube and brought it to the bed with you along with the cuffs. Eagerly he prostrated himself for you; he was grinning, wiggling his ass, and letting out spontaneous mewls of excitement.

“Damn, baby,” you grabbed his hips and pulled him back against your own when you knelt behind him on the bed.

Slowly, you extracted the plug from his body and replaced it with a lubed finger; exploring him and loving the sounds he made for you.

“Please, please, please,” he begged for you.

You stretched him with another finger, and lubed your own cock.

“Okay, baby. Are you ready?”

“Yes!” He was whimpering and moaning with his head cradled in a pillow.

“Mmmm,” you hummed, grabbing his hips teasingly. “You look so pretty, baby.”

You held his hips, and your fingers played with his lingerie; snapping the garter and positioning lace. Your cock slotted between his ass cheeks.

He squirmed, shoving the pillow under his chest and anchoring a hand to the wall for leverage to push himself back against you. The head of your cock teased against his hole, everything slick and eager. Watching your cock slowly sink into him, its girth stretching his tight hole, you could have wept. It was so beautiful, watching him yield to you.

Pleasured sensations were coursing through you despite the glaring numbness between your body and his. But you let go of the frustrated longing that came with this moment: the sheer wishing to truly possess the cock that filled him; that would have felt him shudder and tighten. You let it go and you focused on the pleasure, which wasn't hard to do. He was fucking gorgeous, his body bucking against yours eagerly. You held his hip, stretching an arm up behind your head. For a minute you watched as he fucked himself on your cock, sending his own pleasure back to you in tremors.

You spanked his ass.

“You're not gonna get what you want this way, you know. But you look incredible.”

He giggled, still excited and hungry.

“Please. Please,” he started moaning.

You could tell he liked begging. He liked handing control over to you, and you were so happy to take it.

“Just be patient, baby. I'll give it to you. Just take it easy.”

He groaned, fighting the desire to fuck himself on you. His hands clenched to fists, tightening the muscles of his arms to sharp relief.

“Fuuuuckk…” you gritted a heaving breath through your teeth.

His body was so lean, sensual. You loved it. Watching him squirm and flex and wiggle. It made you want to tie him down. You laughed, spanked him again, and thrust into him roughly. He gasped at the sudden thrust, and then immediately started moaning as your hips rocked against him.

“Yes! Mmm, yeah that feels good.”

“Yeah?” You licked and nipped at his ear.

“Fuck yes,” he cooed, twisting his neck round to peck at your lips.

You took one of his wrists, and then the other. Folding his arms behind his back and securing them with the cuffs left him delightfully at your mercy.

“Oh, god,” he gasped.

“Color?”

“Really fucking green.”

Smiling, you pulled him back against you by holding his cuffed forearms. He had no leverage to rut against you now, he could only keep himself kneeling. You began a brisk stride, thrusting your hips, fucking the cock into him. His moans became whines and his ass wiggled against you the best he could.

“Please, please…”

You slowed your movements, bent over him and kissed his spine.

“What do you want, baby boy?”

“Mistress! Please, can I have the bigger cock?”

He must have seen it laid out in the bathroom. The one you wore was a warm-up; a tease, just barely nudging the spot where he wanted to feel you. You grinned.

“Yes, baby. You asked so nice. You gonna stay right here for me?”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“Good boy.”

You slowly slipped out of him. In the bathroom you switched one phallus for the other. When you returned to his prone body - he looked so good - it was hard not to just stare. On his knees with arms behind his back he could potentially sit up but he was still face-down in the pillow, waiting for you. You couldn't help licking your lips while you knelt on the bed. You lubed him up again, immediately using two fingers and making him groan. You slicked the cock and entered him again, slowly, watching him stretch. Fuck, you would never get over that.

With the cuffs pinning his arms behind him, you experienced complete control over him. It was heady; you could get drunk on it. The landscape of his body laid out before you; bound and taking your big cock.

“Color?”

“Green. Fucking green, come on.” Wiggling, he tried pushing himself back on your cock.

You smacked his ass with your palm and yanked his leash back in punishment.

“What do you say?”

“Please, Mistress.”

“That's better.”

Once the cock was settled deep in him, with a touch of your finger you pressed on the vibe inside your harness, on the low setting and even that almost felt like too much. You keep the pace of your thrusts slow long enough to tease him, to get him begging again. After awhile of enthusiastically fucking him, it became your plateau, so you pressed to initiate the next setting.

As you fucked into him, you tugged on his leash. His pleasured litany of grunts was choked off to a whimper. You let the leash slacken, let him catch his breath, and then pulled again. You loved the sounds he made; the full-throated moans he released as he caught his breath after each asphyxiation.

Finally, he groaned out, “I'm going to come if you keep doing that!”

You rolled your hips to fuck him slowly while your mind absorbed this. Ultimately you decided to make him wait. Between the leash and the cuffs holding him, you pulled him up to sit in your lap, making his kneeling legs spread wide. You couldn't hold the position for very long but you fucked into him the best you could and placed bites eagerly along his neck and shoulder.

You pushed him back down into the bed. His legs were splayed out now but instead of pulling him back up, you adjusted him so he lay almost flat. Now you could easily pound into his body. You fucked him hard and fast as your own pleasure began to reach its crescendo and you knew you would be done soon.

You're crying out pleasurable yearning with your face in his shoulder. You can feel his muscles flexing, working to accommodate you and his own breathing. And he's doing it well.

“You're so good for me, baby,” you need to praise him, he's so beautiful. “Baby boy, you're fucking gorgeous. You look so pretty for me.”

With the collar on he doesn't cry out so much as growl and moan from within his chest.

“You love fucking my ass, Mistress?”

You moan and laugh all at once, a little power-high. Your thumb brushes the push button on the vibe and kicks your pleasure up to eleven.

“Oh, yeah. Perfect little slut for me, baby boy,” you cooed back to him even as your hips stuttered, rhythm lost to the orgasm sweeping over you in waves.

Trevor whined when your body left his. Gritting your teeth against the brash overstimulation, you turned off the vibe, and then stood to remove the harness and your shorts.

 

“Please, please, Miss-”

He lets out a sigh to interrupt his plea when you free him from the cuffs.

“Lay on your back,” you tell him.

He follows the order, and then gasps and growls when he sees you naked. You tug on his thighs to pull his body further down the bed.

“Can you get yourself off while I fuck your face?”

He only nods, eyes wide.

You climb on the bed to straddle his face, taking his leash in one hand.

“Oh, fuck yes,” he enthuses before your body eclipses his face.

He brings his free hand to your thigh tentatively. You contemplate scolding him for it, but there's no point.

“You can grab my ass, too,” you tell him instead, and he does, immediately.

His tongue laves at your hole first thing, lapping up the arousal that's dripping from you. He gets his lips around you and sucks, making you cry out and feel like he's drinking you. Absently, you play with your own nipples. Even through the slurping he's making beneath you, you can hear the wet slick as his hand strokes his own cock.

He starts flicking his tongue over your clit; it makes you gasp and slide a hand into his hair. He begins to lose his concentration on you as his own orgasm builds, so, holding his head in place beneath you, you begin riding his face to find your own pleasure. The orgasm overwhelms you when his lips catch your clit and suck at the engorged bud. You can hear a hum, deep in his throat, and feel the vibration of it against you. His body goes stiff under you while you ride out your orgasm.

You collapse next to him when you're spent, and see him all sticky with his own release, some of it staining the garter belt and the hem of his dress.

“Trevor,” you mumble his name to break the spell.

He looks at you with glassy eyes, whispering your name back to you to acknowledge the end of the scene. You take his face in your hand and kiss him for a long time.

Finally, you tell him, “let's get cleaned up.”

You shower together; it's intimate. You kiss slowly and make faces at each other and laugh. He lays on the bed, wearing your robe and his stockings, while you clean up and put away the toys. Naked, you both slide under your sheets. Without a word, he turns his back to you and snuggles his butt against your hips, letting you be his big spoon. You kiss his shoulders until you fall asleep.


End file.
